Advice dating someone children
Of course, I was also nervous that my guy would analyse me. There will be many challenges and the occasional stress factors involved, but if he’s really worth getting to know… Like I said, many more single people have children now, and, while some people have strict rules about wanting someone, who may be like them, single and childless, dating a single parent isn’t akin to the plague.
All you need to do is take a deep breath, and make sure you can handle all the other variables that come along with this relationship.
I say “getting to know” because our brief tango didn’t get very far for a few reasons … I was wary from the beginning with “Chris.” Two baby mamas, and two boys and two girls.
That’s a lot of people to factor in when trying to learn about one person.
As I sat with my closest girlfriends on our routine girls’ night out (GNO) one Saturday evening, the suspense at the table didn’t go unnoticed. Alas, I admit, those were my exact words, but those words were also spoken by a much younger and not so much wiser version of myself. Obviously, there are several issues to deal with when someone has a child. Do you think you’ll get jealous when you have to share him, and can’t throw a tantrum because you’ll ‘look bad’ for being jealous of a child? trying to pacify the mother so his relationship with his child isn’t affected, and keeping his ‘woman’ comfortable.
Prior to our meeting, I had mentioned that I had some news to share. I have learnt through maturity and life’s little lessons, that limiting yourself or options because of the checklist of the perfect man or ideal relationship you have etched in your mind doesn’t actually prove to be realistic. Yes the other woman; the ex who will always be present in both of your lives. Will your plans get rescheduled at the last minute, because something came up with the child or because of a situation with the other parent? Can your significant other manage any possible drama? And let’s be real, what about feeling secure about your relationship when you see him with her and their child, looking like a happy family unit?
As I sat with my closest girlfriends on our routine girls’ night out (GNO) one Saturday evening, the suspense at the table didn’t go unnoticed.
I also get to witness the type of dad he really is, and he handles his role and responsibilities as a father well. I remember thinking, “Please don’t cry if I hold your hand”. Does having a child mean that he is even more ready for long-term commitment, even with the extra baggage? While, on my end, there is no talk of running down an aisle anytime soon, as the relationship progresses, who knows what may happen.
But I think the guy is being honest about what the situation means for a lot of people.
She later stated, “Me having a daughter isn’t a compromise and anyone I’m going to spend my life with is going to see it as the biggest bonus ever.” Okay, the word “compromise” isn’t the most warm and cozy thing to say in this context; a parent doesn’t want to hear anything less than glowing applause about his or her little dumpling, even if the pookie doo cusses them out on a regular basis.
He is absolutely in love with his child, and that makes him even more attractive to me. While we look for stability in relationships, dating someone who has a child shouldn’t pose a threat.
Seeing a man love and care for his child genuinely is a beautiful thing. It’s all about building that relationship on the basics, as you would any other, with love, trust, understanding, and commitment, among other things.